Dipo Adebayo
5 min readOct 2, 2023

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A Crucial Lifeskill To Get What You Deserve.

Have you ever wanted something but feared if you asked for it you would be rejected, so you didn’t?

But after the incident, you felt a jab of regret like, "What if I was given if I had asked? What if?”

The tough part is you will never know because you never asked, and so you may always live with that regret.

You say, "But it can sometimes be so difficult to ask for things." True. Here are 3 things that make it difficult and thoughts to conquer them:

1. You don’t believe that you deserve what you desire.

Do you believe that you deserve that job? Do you truly see the value you will bring to the table if you were offered the job or opportunity? Do you believe that the business you seek investment for has significant value that people will be happy to pay for? Do you believe that a book you need sponsorship to publish will change people’s lives?

Do you really believe that you deserve to be treated with respect, dignity and kindness? Do you believe you deserve a life of peace and stability?

Do you believe your dreams and desires are valuable and deserve to be asked for and pursued with persistence?

If you don't believe these things, then it will be hard for you to ask for them or be persistent in asking. At the slightest rebuff, you will recoil and tell yourself you were rejected because you never deserved it in the first place.

So today, begin the process of becoming that person who believes that their dreams are worthy and sees why they deserve the things they desire. You can seek the help of a trusted friend, mentor, counselor, or therapist to achieve this.

2. You are afraid of rejection.

You may be thinking: I've gotten so many rejections, what if this turns out to be another "NO"?

Photo by Jakayla Toney on Unsplash

Yes, you may get a "No" to your request. That’s okay. You’ve likely also said no to many people’s requests. But what if you get a yes?

Pause. Think about that for a moment. Feel the joy of getting that "yes", picture the image of getting what you desire, and sing the song that will flow to your mouth at that moment.

With that vision, hope, and excitement in you, go ask for what you want. Keep asking as many times and as many people as it takes to get your yes—

And don't let a hundred "No's" dampen your dreams, your joy, and your faith that you will get a yes.

Your greatest regret will likely not be all the rejections you got, but all the opportunities you missed simply because you never asked.

3. You wait until you are desperately in need before you consider asking.

Photo by Stormseeker on Unsplash

Picture this: Two barbers are trying to get more customers. Barber 1 is constantly asking for customers while Barber 2 only takes asking seriously when he’s in serious financial need, and then he says:

"Please cut your hair with me, I need money to pay my children’s school fees." On the other hand, Barber 1 says: “I have been a professional barber for 5 years. I eat, sleep, and drink barbing. I love helping my clients look exceptionally good. Whenever you need a decent cut in a comfortable place, visit my barbershop.”

Which of these two will you pick? The first most likely. Why? Because one person asked in a way that focused only on his needs (due to his desperation) while the other asked with passion, confidence in his ability, and a deep sense of the significance of the value he provided, and gave you a sense that he knows what he’s doing.

Don’t wait until the situation is urgent before you start asking. Start asking early so you can have the peace of mind to ask with wisdom, clarity, and confidence.

Today, ask for that job that seems above your credentials but you know you can perform on, ask for that sale that seems out of your league but you can deliver, ask for the raise that no one in your company has ever gotten but you know you deserve, ask for that huge grant, that opportunity, that benefit, ask, ask, ask!

But wait. Before you start asking, please answer these 5 questions:

  1. What do you really want?

2. Why does it matter you?

3. Do you think you deserve it?

4. Who are the kind of people you need to keep asking to get it?

5. Why should what you want matter to them?

Don’t stop asking for your dreams; Chances are that no one else will, if you don’t.

Ask and keep on asking and it will be given to you; seek and keep on seeking and you will find; knock and keep on knocking and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who keeps on asking receives, and he who keeps on seeking finds, and to him who keeps on knocking, it will be opened. Matthew 7:7‭-‬8 AMP

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Want to read more articles related to this topic? Check these out:

1. How to Overcome Rejection & Failure
2. A Polar Bear Teaches us about Persistence

3. The Gift of Rejection

Inspire a friend to persistently ask for their dreams. Share this article.

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Dipo Adebayo

I am a water engineer, softskills coach, writer & teen counselor. I write on hope and rising above shame, rejection, fear & failure. Follow on IG @dipoadebayo