The Missing Gap to Achieving Our Goals.

Why do we set goals and fail to achieve them?

Sometimes, it’s due to external factors we can’t control, but many times it’s because we don’t go through the process required to achieve that goal.

Goal setting is easy but going through the process to achieve a goal can be hard.

Why? Because achieving goals often requires a process that involves qualities that can be hard to learn such as discipline, patience, commitment, focus, strategy, courage, humility, doggedness, empathy, self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and list goes on.

Often we set out to achieve goals but because we lack one or more of the qualities required for success, we don’t achieve them.

What success qualities do you lack that often defeat you when you set goals? Why not set a goal to grow that quality?

You’re probably asking, how do I grow these qualities?

Let’s take one quality that affects many of us. Self-Awareness. I’ll define self awareness as understanding why we think, feel and act the way we do. We often don’t understand ourselves well enough to know how to lead ourselves to achieve our goals.

Particularly in our age of technology and social media. There's a lot to keep us constantly distracted— we give attention to everything and everyone but ourselves. We know a lot of what's happening far and near, but we don't know ourselves.

If you want to grow self-awareness, and any other quality for that matter, the first thing is to create a "written growth plan", that is itemizing your strategy to grow in that area. A written growth plan to develop self-awareness can look like this.

1- Reduce Social media consumption: I’ll Use social media for 30 minutes daily. I’ll Uninstall/Freeze Instagram or other social apps that consume my time and reinstall/unfreeze them just when I need them.

2- Read 4 books on self-awareness over the next 2 months: I’ll get books on Amazon such as "Why you act the way you do" and "Spirit Controlled Temperament" by Tim Lahaye, and The 4 elements by Laurie Beth Jones.

3- Commit at least 15-30 minutes daily to just being by myself— no phones. Just me, myself & I. During this time I’ll practice self-reflection. I’ll question why I think, act and feel the way you do. I’ll question why I like/dislike this or that, and other things I don’t understand about myself

4- I'll invite 5 of my close friends to describe my personality and share what comes to mind when they think about me. And what they think my strengths and weaknesses are.

5- I’ll Take 3 self-assessment tests right now. You’ll find some questions to help you discover your strengths and strength tests in this article:

6- I'll get closer to God and increase the time I spend with Him by "x" amount because I realize that the more I know my Maker, the more I will know myself.

You can create a similar growth plan for other qualities you need to develop and ensure you follow through on that plan. Don’t let anything distract you. Do what you plan to do.

Self Growth is the missing gap that keeps us from achieving our goals. The more we grow ourselves, the more equipped we become to achieve our goals.

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Hi. I'm Dipo. I write, speak and train on interpersonal/softskills, teenagers, emotional healing, and overcoming fear, failure, shame, rejection, and other self-limiting obstacles to your progress.

Generally, I share content on personal development. I love to see people become better. You can get free access to my articles here:

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Dipo Adebayo

Dipo Adebayo


I am a water engineer, softskills coach, writer & teen counselor. I write on hope and rising above shame, rejection, fear & failure. Follow on IG @dipoadebayo