THE SACREDNESS OF SEX

Objective: To understand how God sees sex and practical tips for staying sexually pure.

LET’S TALK ABOUT IT.

Please read the scriptures quoted in the translations referenced. Translations mostly referenced are The Message (MSG), Amplified (AMP) and The Passion Translation (TPT)

1.) What does the Bible say about sex? Proverbs. 5:15-23 CEV, NLT, 1Corinthians. 6:18-20 (Also read in The Message and Amplified translation) (Sex is meant for a husband and his wife, and it is intimate, reserved (for your married partner), beautiful, spiritual and sacred (set apart for one specific use). The same way you wouldn’t share something really special, given to you by your mom or dad with just anyone, God, your Father, doesn’t expect you to share the intimate gift of sex He’s given you with just anyone— only your lawfully wedded spouse)



2.) Why is premarital sex a sin before God?

• It goes against your heavenly Father’s design- it is an abuse of His precious gift.

• It defiles and dishonors you- God’s temple, and dishonors God. 1.Corinthians.6:13-20 (MSG)

• It treats as common or ordinary something God considers as sacred. Hebrews13:4 (Read in The Message translation)

• It is cheating- you get the physical pleasure of marriage without its commitment and responsibility (Deuteronomy 22:28-29)

• It is an unholy union; you join yourself to someone not legally bound (married) to you for life 1.Corithians 6:15-20 TPT



3.) What are some consequences of premarital sex?

• It provides opportunity for the Devil to steal from you. Proverbs.5:7-10, John 10:10.

• It could ruin an otherwise good friendship (2 Samuel 13:11-15)

• It breaks your heavenly Father’s heart.

• It could lead to unwanted pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases (STD’s) etc. Proverbs.5:11, 2.Samuel 11:27

• It could lead to the birth of children whose parents aren’t ready to take care of them



4.) What about masturbation (sexually stimulating myself)— is anything wrong with that? 1Corinthians 7::8-9 (Yes, because the only avenue God has given us to express our sexual desire is within a marriage between a man and a woman, not by ourselves.)



5.) What about foreplay- fondling, making-out etc.? 1.Corinthians.6:18 (these things are all part of the process that leads to sex. The idea is not to see how close we can get to the fire of premarital sex without getting burned, the goal is to stay completely away from the fire)



6.) How can I overcome sexual sin? (not just premarital sex, but also pornography, masturbation, homosexuality etc.)





12 THINGS TO DO TO OVERCOME SEXUAL TEMPTATION



I. Flee! Don’t see how close you can stay around the fire of sexual temptation without getting burnt, run from anything that tempts you! Genesis 39:7-12 2.Corinthians 6:18 (Read in Amplified version)



II. Cut off everything that negatively feeds your heart (i.e. books, movies, music, friends, environments etc.) and replace with purer things. It starts in the heart; feed your mind with the right things. Mark. 9:43-48 AMP, Proverbs 4:23 NIV, NLT.



III. Soak yourself in God; spend more time in God’s presence (reading or listening to the Bible, praying, worshipping, listening to Christian messages etc.) that his holiness may shine on you. (Ps.119:9&11, 2.Cor.3:18 KJV). The more space God’s word occupies in your mind, the less room you leave for the wrong thoughts. Fill up your mind with godly content, either its music, books, movies, videos, shows etc., and get godly friends. (Psalm 119:9-11. Romans 12:1-2 MSG, AMP Philippians 4:8 AMP)



IV. Cry out for grace: Accept that you can’t do it on your own and cry out for grace- the help and power of God to overcome that sin or struggle Ps.51:6,10-12, Romans.6:12-14 TPT, Romans 8:13-14 TPT, AMP



V. Rely on the Holy Spirit: Remember the Holy Spirit is your Helper, He is the One that makes you holy in your mind and heart. Reach out to him always and be careful to follow his instructions or promptings.



VI. Get busy with building yourself: Spend your time building your spirit, mind and body- read books, take courses, develop yourself, look for places you can serve (volunteer)— be sure you are growing in every facet of life: spiritually, mentally, academically, financially, in your attitude or character etc. Also, use your free time to learn new skills and develop skills you already have. Remember, the future is for those who make the most of the present. Make the most of your time. Ensure you are never bored and wasting time— develop a routine that keeps you occupied; (Luke 2:52. Proverbs 24:30-34. Proverbs 6:6-11. Ecclesiastes 11:6 NET. Luke 19:11-27). It’s easier to fall into temptation when you are idle (2Sam.11:1-4).



VII. Get busy for God. Get involved with the great command of bringing people into His kingdom, mentoring them and building them up in the Christian faith (Matthew 28:18-19)



VIII. Talk to a Christian Counselor: or a Christian adult you trust, who can give godly counsel. Also, have the person hold you accountable and follow up with you on your progress in overcoming sexual temptation.



IX. Don’t stop fighting: Even when you fall into sexual sin, run back to God for mercy & grace (divine enablement to meet our need) and fight again! (Proverbs.24:16. Hebrews 4:14-16, preferably in Amplified translation)



X. Spend time with other believers: Regularly spend time in fellowship with other believers; it will further motivate you to disengage from the bad habit and spur you to good habits (Hebrews 10:24-25)



XI. Tell yourself God’s Truth (Confessions): Get scriptures in the Bible about breaking free from the control of sin or unholy desires— and instead living under the control of the Spirit of God; then begin to speak these scriptures to yourself (confess) every morning, afternoon and evening, as often as you remember.



When you speak God’s word to your life, you are speaking God’s life and power to it, and you will receive God’s power and intervention in the area you are speaking God’s word to. (Proverbs 18:20-21. Hebrews 4:12. Mark 11:22-23. Joshua 1:8. Isaiah 55:10-11). At the end of this class you’ll find scriptures you can confess to yourself.



XII. Help someone else struggling with sexual temptation (someone of same sex): As we teach someone else the things we have learned in overcoming the things we are struggling with, we help ourselves too, we become less prone to giving in to the temptation



PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER: Sex is not just another appetite as food. Sex is sacred. Sex is a fire- safe, warm and healing if it remains within the fireplace of marriage- but potentially deadly if it’s allowed to get out and burn uncontrollably. Please don’t light the match of sex outside the fireplace of marriage.

ACTION: Have the teenagers make a promise to keep themselves sexually pure, by writing this down and repeating to themselves daily: Because my body is the temple of God and He paid for it with the life of His dear Son, JESUS, to save my body and spirit; I will stay sexually pure until marriage, & after marriage, and I will glorify God with my body, so help me God. Remember 1Cor.6:18-20 (say the scripture and confession over and over again until it’s stuck on repeat in your mind!)

FEEDBACK:

I. What have you learned from this session and how will you apply it?

II. Mention at least one person you will try to influence with what you’ve learned today

III. Any other thing you’ll like us to know?



RELATIONSHIPS/DATING

Objective: Intimate relationships are for those ready for marriage.

Why do we date and want intimate relationships with the opposite sex?

• The need to feel loved and wanted- the need for a close companion.

• Peer pressure.

• To satisfy sexual urge.

What does the Bible have to say about this?

• There’s a time for everything. Wait until you are ready for marriage. Gen.2:18,23-24, Gen.29:16-21, Ecc.3:1,11a, Songs.3:5. The best things in life often require us to wait. 1Cor.13:4



• While you wait for marriage, know God and let Him be your first Lover and closest companion. God never made Adam or Eve to take His place; he alone can completely fill the loneliness in our hearts and the need for love and intimacy. Gen. 2:18-21; Hos.2:14,16,23; Jn.7:37-38

What are some consequences of going into an intimate relationship before you’re ready for marriage?

• It could more easily lead to sexual sin.

• It could greatly steal our time and prevent us from focusing on important aspects of our lives (e.g. our spiritual, mental, emotional lives, or our academics, finances, skills etc.) and could greatly stunt our growth.

• It could lead us into getting intimate with the wrong people who will lead us astray.

• We may handle it poorly because we are unprepared and cause deep emotional/mental damage to ourselves or the other person.

• It could ruin an otherwise good friendship and make bitter what is beautiful. (2 Samuel 13:11-15)

• It could delay God’s timing and hinder His will for our lives.

PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER: Intimacy is beautiful, but if gone into too early it could have disastrous effects. Wait until you are ready for marriage before you get into a intimate relationship with the opposite sex; the best things on life often require patience. PLEASE REMEMBER. Songs.3:5

MEMORY VERSE: Oh, let me warn you, sisters (and brothers) in Jerusalem, by the gazelles, yes, by all the wild deer: Don’t excite love, don’t stir it up, until the time is ripe—and you’re ready. Song of Solomon 3:5 MSG. (words in bracket are the author’s inclusion)

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I am a water engineer, interpersonal skills coach & teen counselor. I write on hope and rising above shame, rejection, fear & failure. Follow on IG @dipoadebayo

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Dipo Adebayo

Dipo Adebayo

I am a water engineer, interpersonal skills coach & teen counselor. I write on hope and rising above shame, rejection, fear & failure. Follow on IG @dipoadebayo