Lovely article Chirka Deshi. You bring to light an issue lots of sincerely good people are going through but can’t express— an identity crisis caused by the fear of shame which leads to the never-ending need to fit into what we think is acceptable by popular culture (I once wrote an article related to this: The Gift of Rejection: https://link.medium.com/liq4jYoNPpb
What truly matters is being a God-girl/boy not a good person by people’s standards. God’s standard of good is what matters, not ours or that of others.
Thank God, because in Jesus, we see the definition of true good, and by His death and resurrection, He’s made it possible for us to share in His goodness. (Philippians 3- I like the Amplified Bible version of this)