How to Stop Feeling Not-Good-Enough.
Do this when you feel unworthy of the call of duty.
It was 2009 and I was in my 3rd year at the University. The last thing I expected was to be named the publicity unit lead of my school fellowship
Seriously? Me? Lead? I was one of those you would consider unserious in the fellowship. I saw nothing exceptional in myself that I should be called to lead that unit.
Do you relate? Have you felt incompetent to do something you were called to do?
Sometimes we feel inadequate to perform a role. We feel we don't have the skill or experience. We recall our present struggles, weaknesses and failures and we say, "who am I to do this work?"
We don't feel worthy of our calling. And like Moses, whom God used to deliver the Israelites from captivity, we give several reasons why we can't do it.
But this is when we need to remember: the potency of the sword lies not in the sword but in the one who wields the sword.
Our ability and worthiness lies not in ourselves, but in God who wields us.
So on days we feel inadequate in ourselves, that’s okay because our adequacy comes from God. He’s the one that makes us worthy and gives us ability to succeed in whatever we do.
When we feel not-good-enough or incompetent to succeed in a responsibility, either it’s in family, work, or ministry (specific work we believe God has called us to do), here are 4 things we can do:
1- Just Do It: Sometimes we are asked to do certain things, and we need to decline when we have a good reason to. But when we believe it's something we should do, even if we are afraid, we should go ahead and do it—and not let our feelings of inadequacy hold us back.
True, it's easier said than done. But that's the thing, we don't always have to wait until we feel motivated or capable to get started on the job. Often, the way to overcome our feeling of inadequacy is by getting started. As we continue, our feelings of inadequacy fade and become replaced by competence.
Particularly when it's something God has called us to do, we have to lay down our fears, doubts, pride and all that holds us back and surrender to His call in obedience.
Once we get started and surrender to Him in trust, He takes over. He says, "Now watch me work through you. Don't try to do this on your own, you will fail. Lean on me at every step. In all your way, acknowledge me, and I will direct you path."
2- Change your Self Talk:
Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.— Henry Ford.
Sometimes the reason we can’t do certain things is not that we lack the ability, but because we think we can’t do them. Self-doubt keeps us from achieving our potential.
To overcome self-doubt, we need to change our self-talk. What we regularly say of ourselves becomes how we see ourselves (or our self-image), and that’s because we believe the things we consistently tell ourselves.
So if you're struggling to believe you can do something, replace thoughts of "I can't do this" with empowering affirmations that remind you "I can do this." You can try this affirmation or whatever works for you:
Hey Achiever (or insert your name), you have every right to think you can succeed in this role. You have no business staying in your comfort zone because you are afraid of failure. Yes, you may struggle initially but as you learn you’ll become great at it. And that’s because You have what it takes to do this.
Say this empowering affirmation until it paints a different picture in your mind of yourself and makes you feel better about yourself.
It's important you speak it out, rather than just thinking it; it's key to fight negative thoughts, not only with positive thoughts but also with positive words.
For more on overcoming the inner critic and changing self-talk, please read: https://link.medium.com/SPd0E80GRvb
3- Ask for Help: I remember my first wastewater project. I was fresh out of school and clueless on what to do, I felt so inadequate. I went home that night and prayed something like, "Father, I don’t know what to do here, please teach me." The next day on site, everything made sense, I knew exactly what to do.
God loves when we ask for help. He desires that whenever we sense our lack in any area we come to Him for a fresh supply of His wisdom, grace, and ability.
He is the Ocean; we are the streams, the channels through which His Supply for every responsibility flows. And our success in life depends on how much we stay connected in our relationship with Him and receive His ability and wisdom to do well in the tasks He has committed to us.
Also, sometimes asking for help is asking someone more skilled or experienced in that endeavor to support us. Draw up a list of people who can help you and solicit their help.
4- Learn Quickly: Every role in life, be it in family, work, ministry etc. requires specific skills and knowledge.
To learn these skills may mean reading books, taking courses, getting a mentor, joining the right association of people skilled in that industry, daily practice of the skills required etc.
The key to quickly overcoming inadequacy is to be a hungry learner. The faster we develop competence, the faster we will feel more confident.
Do you feel not-good-enough or are you struggling to do something God has called you to? Lean harder on God's grace. Instead of worrying about your inadequacy, it's time to come to the Father (and keep coming) for His endless supply of ability and every resource needed for that assignment.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV
Do you want more practical steps on overcoming a sense of inadequacy? Read this— Do These 7 Things When You Feel Inadequate: https://link.medium.com/omSRAoRE9sb
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Hi. I’m Dipo. I write on overcoming fear, failure, shame, rejection, doubt and other self-limiting obstacles to our progress.
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